On Today’s Episode Of Lagos Traffic

So basically, the president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria decided to bless us, Lagos residents, with his presence. While I’m not really concerned about why he came, I know it’s all for formality sake and there isn’t going to be any real change.

Now back to the reason for this post. Today was very eventful, as I had a lot of things to do and a lot of places to be.

Like we all know, every bus in Lagos comes with its own kind of commotion, and here is a story about the ones I faced.

The first bus moved from Mushin to Oshodi, and for those who know these areas, you know the kind of energy you get from them.

Ps. I want y’all to know that you cannot enter a public transport in Lagos without encountering the typical noise.

And like the tradition that accompanies public transportation, the bus driver collected his money, and as he was about to move, a particular man who was sitting directly beside me started hollering “give me my change!” Everyone in the bus was like “Oga chill, we just started moving, he will give you your change”. Like y’all know, in every bus, there is always someone championing a course, and this particular champion (a guy) was seated directly in front of this man.

That’s how this man changed it for the guy. He started hitting him, saying he wasn’t talking to him, and that he should mind his business.

The guy, trying to be respectful, tried making him understand that he was only trying to make him see that the driver needed to concentrate. This man did not buy it ooo, he took his screaming to another level, claiming he would destroy the guy once they get to Oshodi. And just like always, people started weighing in, trying to calm the situation.

That’s when the other guy decided to start his own drama. He told the man to mark his face, saying he was ready for whatever the man has in store for him. The bus was literally all noise till we got to our destination. On getting to Oshodi, both men parted like nothing happened; going their way without a word to each other. (I was like wtf, after all the mouth).

Then I entered the next bus, this was from Oshodi to Egbeda. Trust me, I hadn’t recovered from the drama I experienced in the previous shuttle, but little did I know that this bus had a great lot in store for me.

This bus had a police officer in it, and seated directly beside him was a loud-mouthed guy who was getting impatient as the driver tried settling these guys that collect money from bus drivers. As the man started demanding that we be on our way, the police man simply asked him to relax, and the next thing he uttered was “do you want to kill me?”(This phrase struck deep; it tells so much about the Nigeria Police). But in all honesty, this police officer didn’t mean any harm, but in the way people rushed to beg on this loud-mouthed man’s behalf, you could feel intense fear.

I think the pleas got into the policeman’s head because that’s when he brought out his phone and threatened to call his boys to beat the man up, but you know Nigerian women, they know how to beg, they calmed him and we got to Egbeda and everything ended there.

Why everyone in Lagos is on the edge, I don’t get, and why everyone is all noise and no action, I don’t understand.

How Buhari’s visit comes to play in this story, I don’t know, but somehow, I feel it’s his fault. (I’m joking)

Hope you had a good day, though?

About Banji Coker 157 Articles
Banji Coker is a Nigerian poet, writer and spoken word artist. He is the author of two poetry compilations, Just seventeen and October feelings.

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