Diary of the Dark, Twisted and Unlucky (chapter 10)

CHAPTER 10 (FAMILY)

Dear Diary,

My stomach began to ache seriously and then the headache began. I mean, Tomi was Nifemi’s cousin. How the hell am I supposed to look her in the face? She must be heartbroken, and the fact that she has no idea what killed him must be devastating. She obviously called me for some kind of comfort, yes, that’s all I’m good for; the go-to guy when something is wrong, and he’s dumped when everything is alright. But how am I going to live pretending I have no idea what happened to her cousin. My conscience was beginning to bug me, I’m a good person I won’t harm anyone on purpose and technically I didn’t have anything to do with Tomi’s death, I just witnessed it. I didn’t give him any of the substances he took, I didn’t dump him into the lagoon, I technically didn’t suggest it, but the fact still remains, I was there and I did nothing to stop him from dying.

It was late into the third hour of the new day and I still couldn’t sleep, I guess Tomi wasn’t resting in peace because he’s the reason I couldn’t sleep, and the painful part was I barely knew him, I just met him the day of his death. I hated the fact that I went to that party, I wished I stayed home and stared at my ceiling fan like I do every night of my miserable life.

Why can’t something good happen to me for once? Why does it have to be something tragic? why me? Why does God hate me this much? What did I do wrong?

I heard a slight knock at my door

“Hey, are you asleep?”

“No, I can’t sleep”

Feyi walked quietly into my room and sat on my bed.

“Hey, I’m sorry about the way I acted, you didn’t deserve it”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Saying what?”

“I don’t deserve what they did to me, but do it anyways”

“I don’t know, but am sorry, and I miss my brother”

“Okay, it’s alright, no problem”

“Folarin, the thing is, I love sex, emotionless sex. I dump and never have any relations with them ever again, but you’re my brother and I love you more than anyone in the world, and I thought if we continued, things were going to get out of hand. I mean, we are siblings, we can’t be in a relationship, and if we say we should keep a strictly sexual relationship making sure it doesn’t affect our brother-sister relationship, what will happen when I want to have sex with someone else? Or when you fall for another girl? I know you will or you’ve already falling for one, I know you won’t feel right cheating on her with your sister, you’re a lover boy, you deserve a special love story and I don’t want to mess it up. I will do anything to fix us, I just want us to be back to normal”

“it’s okay, Feyi. I understand. No hard feelings”

Read:Diary of the dark twisted and unlucky (chapter 9)

“Okay, I just thought you needed to hear my reason, I just needed to give you some space so the tension would cool off”

“Yeah, I get, but do you know why you love sex this much?”

“I don’t know, I just love it”

“when was the first time you had sex?”

“Do you remember our eight-year-old birthday?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember the guard mom got that year?”

“Yeah, the one that always loves buying you stuffs and always taking your side anytime we got into a fight…”

“Yeah”

“Oh shit, what the fuck, please tell me it’s not what am thinking!”

“There was a day I ran into his room, remember we also liked to scare him, because of the face he made whenever he was startled. I went in one day and found him wanking. I froze and just stared at him stroking his shaft, he noticed I was there but didn’t stop, instead he called me to come and help him stroke it. Which I went ahead to do, it was all strange to me, I really didn’t understand what was going on, I just complied. After a little bit of stroking, he started cumming all over the place and stained my hands, after he recovered he slid his hands under my skirt and started fingering me, after a while, he got hard again, and told me to leave”

“My god!!!”

“it’s okay, it’s not a big deal”

“Yes, it is”

“I don’t think it is, because I didn’t want to leave”

“You’re were fucking young”

“Yeah, I was. But he had a small dick” she chuckled

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I didn’t know what exactly I would be telling, and it felt embarrassing”

“How long did it happen”

“he masturbated in my presence till he got fired”

“What the fuck?! That guy is crazy!”

“You’re the only person in the world that knows about this”

“You’re the only person that sees me for who I truly am, you are the only guy that looks at me and doesn’t picture me naked, and I almost screwed that up. I’m sorry and I need you”

I moved close to my sister and gave her a hug. She began to cry, she rarely cried and I hated it whenever it happened. I had no idea she had her innocence stripped away that young, and that explained a lot about her. I was seeing my sister in a whole new light, she was just as lonely and lost as I was, and I realized that all we really had was each other. We both had pain but were dealing with it, we needed to stick together, we have to stick together, we are family.

“Can I stay in your room tonight?”, Feyi said, cleaning her nose.

“Yeah, you can”

She cuddled up to me as we laid on the bed, this was going to strengthen our relationship, I was determined to be a better sibling, just then the thought of Chris and how he and Feyi were close crossed my mind.

“Hey, have you heard from Chris?” I asked

“The last I heard, he was back in the UK”

“Really, are you sure?”

“Yeah, he called me when he got there, I was a bit surprised that he didn’t even spend up to a week before going back”

“Okay”

Just then I realized that I was alone in this Tomi mess, I had to keep my mouth shut, because if anything happens, I would be the only one that’d be held accountable for it.

About Banji Coker 148 Articles
Banji Coker is a Nigerian poet, writer and spoken word artist. He is the author of two poetry compilations, Just seventeen and October feelings.

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